Mille Bournes

Mille Bournes is a game I played quite a bit of in my youth. Thinking back on it, it's hard to remember why we played this so much, as it was such a frustrating game.

Recently I was going through some old-school games with my kids, to see if they might enjoy the kinds of games I had enjoyed when I was young. I probably should have skipped Mille Bournes since I don't have any specific recollections of particularly enjoying it.

For those who have never played, Mille Bournes is a racing game with cards. Mille Bournes is French for 1000 miles, or something. The basic way to put distance between you and the starting gate is to play mileage cards. The first player whose mileage cards add up to or exceed 1000 wins the race. Points are calculated and several races are run until one player hits 5000 pts.

There are, of course, several ways to punish your opponents, and that's where all the hair-tearing "fun" comes in. First of all, you have to play a ROLL card in order to play mileage cards. Don't have a ROLL card in your hand? Good luck. You get to draw one card per turn, and if it's not a ROLL card, too bad. Several fun-filled turns can be exhausted trying to draw a ROLL card.

Oh, so you've finally drawn a ROLL card? Yea! Go ahead, play it. I dare ya. Because as soon as you play a ROLL card, someone can come along and play a HAZARD card on top of you. For instance: flat tire, accident, out of gas, etc. You get the idea. Of course, there are REMEDY cards you can play (spare tire, repair, gas, etc) but you have to either have the specific card in your hand or (and this is so much fun!) you have to draw it from the deck. Oh, and once you've drawn it from the deck, you then have to play a ROLL card. If you have one...and so on.

Naturally, once you finally play that ROLL card and can get back on your way, your opponent sticks it to you and you get to start all over again. Sound fun?

Well, guess what kiddies, it's not. It's just as frustrating as I remembered playing as a kid.

You have been warned.