The 40-Year-Old Geek

What's wrong with me?

Last night I was in a coffee shop playing a board game. Not just any board game. Take a look at that photo to the right. That's a game called Nexus Ops. My 12-year-old son loves it, and why wouldn't he? It has little gummy armies fighting for control of a thin cardboard monolith. You roll lots of dice. There are fungoids and lava leapers and you go on secret missions. Perfectly understandable what a 12-year-old would see in this.

But I'm 40.

Nexus Ops is really just an excuse to play with toys. Surely, a man of my age should be playing something more mature like Bridge or Chess. Right?

As I sat at the table last night it occurred to me that I was at least 11 years older than everyone else at the table. I had to keep reminding myself -- I don't still live with my parents and I haven't for twenty years. I've kissed lots of girls (okay, nine). I've never seen an episode of Star Trek that didn't have Captain Kirk in it, and I've only seen that Holy Grail movie once. I can't stand They Might Be Giants and I could give two squirts for any sci-fi/fantasy show that isn't aired on a major network. I have my standards.

But when it comes to boardgames, you might as well just paint a 'G' on my chest and strap on the red cape. I even have a boardgame blog (don't tell anyone). I have to be honest, I felt really out of place last night, surrounded by twenty-somethings and blue hair and nose rings and nervous attempts at wit which were really just excuses to be loud. Of course, these infractions weren't occurring at our gaming tables, but I just wanted to give you an idea of the atmosphere of the coffee shop where we play. Hell, I don't think I would have been cool enough for this place when I was twenty-five. At forty, I wouldn't have been surprised if an archeologist grabbed me by the arm and shouted, "I found one! Dust him. Careful, his arm might snap off."

So, there I sat. While other, responsible adults were out doing responsible adult things (like reading bedtime stories, paying bills, snuggling with a loved one, getting drunk, surfing porn, considering plastic surgery, drowning kittens, planning terrorist attacks, etc.) I was pushing my fake little armies around fighting pretend battles.

What a goob.